Day 2

Valentines........Withdrawal........& Remembrance.....
Today started off with a very excited 3 year old. Lillian was very excited to receive her Valentines gift from her Daddy & Mommy which included Cheetos (her favorite) and Peter Pan. Lillian was also responsible for bringing treats to preschool (rice crispy treats with pink sprinkles- per request and pink milk) and I was going to help out with the Valentines Day party too! The morning was a lot of fun and it was priceless to see the looks of excitement on the children's faces.

After the excitement calmed down I suddenly found myself getting sick. This is not the way I planed this Valentines day to be. As it turned out I continued to go down hill and was hit with a migraine that made me hide under the covers and from any light or noise. Thankfully Lillian was able to hang with my mom (Meme) and her cousins. I knew the caffeine withdrawals wouldn't be fun but I never imagined the length of this discomfort. The lack of movement from my part resulted in canceled dinner plans  and my poor husband getting McDonald's instead :(  Hopefully I'll make it up to him this weekend. I don't think he was too disappointed.......Valentines Day hasn't been big on our celebration list since we lost a baby that was due today four years ago.

I've been getting better about putting a smile on my face and attempting to enjoy the "day of love" and of course I also want Lillian to be able to enjoy it too! Even though it has been 4 years I still struggle with it. I want to know why it happened and what I did wrong. I know that one day I will get to meet and hold my angel but on days like today it's still hard. I fear that somehow I will forget....

Happy Valentines Day <3

40 Days

The Lenten Journey.......what will mine look like? What will I be giving up this lent season? How will I grow and what will I discover? As the season approached I began to think about the question that most of my family would be asking me which is "what are you going to give up for Lent?" Each year I think about what I should do and then if I could actually do it. My Aunt Pat decided to give up Facebook for Lent. Now that is commitment......I'm not sure I could do that one. After much debate I finally decided that I would give up one thing that I like to enjoy on a daily basis and in this case something that I liked to enjoy multiple times a day and honestly I am someone dependant on this pleasure. I also thought Lent is supposed to be about learning and growing too not just giving pleasures up. So I will be giving up pop including my all time favorite Mt. Dew in a can- ice cold! I also set a goal to do something that I've always wanted to do. I have secretly wanted to be a real writer. The problem is that I always get held up when it comes to the ideas actually getting on paper. So in my attempt to become a better writer I will be writing daily for the next 40 days during my Lenten journey. I hope that in the end I've lost a few pound from the lack of pop and that I've become more comfortable and gain some confidence in my writing.