Valentines........Withdrawal........& Remembrance.....
Today started off with a very excited 3 year old. Lillian was very excited to receive her Valentines gift from her Daddy & Mommy which included Cheetos (her favorite) and Peter Pan. Lillian was also responsible for bringing treats to preschool (rice crispy treats with pink sprinkles- per request and pink milk) and I was going to help out with the Valentines Day party too! The morning was a lot of fun and it was priceless to see the looks of excitement on the children's faces.
After the excitement calmed down I suddenly found myself getting sick. This is not the way I planed this Valentines day to be. As it turned out I continued to go down hill and was hit with a migraine that made me hide under the covers and from any light or noise. Thankfully Lillian was able to hang with my mom (Meme) and her cousins. I knew the caffeine withdrawals wouldn't be fun but I never imagined the length of this discomfort. The lack of movement from my part resulted in canceled dinner plans and my poor husband getting McDonald's instead :( Hopefully I'll make it up to him this weekend. I don't think he was too disappointed.......Valentines Day hasn't been big on our celebration list since we lost a baby that was due today four years ago.
I've been getting better about putting a smile on my face and attempting to enjoy the "day of love" and of course I also want Lillian to be able to enjoy it too! Even though it has been 4 years I still struggle with it. I want to know why it happened and what I did wrong. I know that one day I will get to meet and hold my angel but on days like today it's still hard. I fear that somehow I will forget....
Happy Valentines Day <3
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